Tomorrow Never Comes

This is the first time I’ve ever actually gone on a diet.  Here’s what I’ve learned about when you want to cheat:

1.  Get it out of the house.  Or at least far away, up high, triple wrapped, and out of sight.  If I forget it exists, I don’t crave it.

2.  Have an altoid.  Or a piece of gum.  Something strong and minty can often times get me through the craving.  Gum especially, so I don’t keep putting “just one” M&M into my mouth.  One M&M may have only 7 calories, but 25 of them have 175 calories.  A piece of gum will keep my mouth interested and busy for only 3 calories.

3.  Try to hold off.  I promise myself I can have it tomorrow.  Or in 3 hours.  Or in a minute.  Sometimes all it takes is knowing I can have it later.  When later comes, I often find I can hold off an extra couple hours.  Delaying long enough to drink a big glass of water first also helps.

4.  Brush my teeth.  My dentist will be happy, and I’ll be unlikely to reach for another something if I have to go and brush my teeth for the third or fifth time that day.

5.  One day at a time.  If I’ve been cheating too much, and it feels like a train I can’t stop, I promise myself that just for the next 24 hours, I won’t cheat.  That’s generally enough to get me back on the wagon.

6.  Substitute.  If I want a hot fudge sundae from Dairy Queen, I’ll make myself one at home, with reduced fat ice cream and light chocolate syrup.  Especially when I haven’t had the real thing in a while, it’s just as delicious.

7.  Indulge.  If I really really really want chocolate chip cookies, and nothing else will do, I go ahead and find myself a chocolate chip cookie.  Just one, though.  And it’s the most fabulous, indulgent, gooey cookie I can find.  Then I cut off a piece that is about the size of two bites.  I take one, put it on a plate, and wrap up the rest and put it away.  I microwave the cookie until it’s warm and delicious, and take eight bites to eat it slowly.  I will generally end up eating the entire cookie this way, but I’ll only eat one cookie, not seven.

 

Things that don’t work for me:  A picture of a skinny/physically fit person I want to imitate, because at that moment, I want chocolate cake, not to look amazing in a bikini.  Keeping a food diary helps me generally make smart food choices, but not when I want to cheat as I’m much too likely to justify irrational things, like having a slice of cake, but no more food for the rest of the day.  Calling a friend or similar support only delays it–as soon as I’m off the phone, I’m unashamedly into the cookie jar.

 

Most importantly, I’ve learned that Tomorrow Never Comes.  If I end up cheating, I never allow myself to say that I’ll begin again tomorrow.  Because the next day, I’ll want pizza for lunch, so I’ll say that ‘I’ll just begin again tomorrow.’  But you see, tomorrow never comes.  If I feel like I need to recommit, I start again right there and then.  Sometimes I’ll even knock out a set of push-ups or ab work to reinforce it.

Day 30 – A Reflection

Today, I am officially 1/3 of the way through the program.  On the exercise front, we’ve laid down a base fitness level and are stepping it up.  During class, we work out and sweat hard for a solid 30-35 minutes, then we sometimes hit about 10 minutes of dedicated ab work.  Read that again: the main workout is 30-35 minutes.  We’re not spending hours in the gym (although I do some extra cardio in the mornings).  We work ridiculously hard for that time, get our heartrates way up (until we’re breathing so hard we can’t talk), keep it there for 30-60 seconds, rest, and repeat. 

The results are obvious.  Everyone is stronger.  Everyone.  We have folks who were over-weight, folks who are old enough to be my parents, model-types who were afraid to lift more than 3lbs (yet their handbags weighed triple that), body builders, and just average folks like me.  We’re all much stronger.  We’re also much more determined.  I can see it written on each and every face in the mirror.  We have fought for every inch of what we have.  More precisely, we’ve fought for every inch we’ve lost.

We have the diet under control.  Some folks are still dealing with hunger (but finding the weight loss worth it), some are adding extra protein and calories to build muscle mass, some are taking days off.  Honestly, I never thought I would be able to diet.  I’m still not very good at it, but I’m learning what it is to deny myself without a religious motivation.

There are two kinds of motivation: the motivation to begin, and the motivation to keep going.  We’re on the second, much harder of the two.  This is the time when you’re halfway through a set and nauseous and you dig deep and finish anyway.  It’s when you know that every corny sports slogan is memorable because it’s true.  When pain is weakness leaving the body.  When you think if you do one more squat you’re going to fall right on your butt, but you just do it.  When you either ran today, or you didn’t.  When you finish an ab set and there are both tears and sweat running down your face.

Or nights like tonight.  I’ll be at the office for hours yet and I’ve finished all my meals for the day.  No matter how much herbal tea I have to drink or gum I have to chew, I will not give into candy.  And tomorrow morning, no matter how tired I am, at 5:30am, I will wake up and pull on sneakers and go to the gym.

There’s no more excitement of just starting out.  I know exactly how hard this will be.  This is where I do it anyway.  This is where I pay my dues.

I’m So Glad I’m Straight

They weighed us again today.  I’ve lost 6.5 lbs.

In the locker room today after class, there was a line of half-naked girls in front of the mirror examining their stomachs.  I was one of them.  We were looking to see if we’d started to develop any sort of packs, or those sexy hip-bone lines.  There was some success.  Still, I can’t wait to really be able to see some definition in my abs.  In truth, we were really being much too vain.  I would have been so embarrassed to have been among a group of guys doing the same thing.  (Still, I hope they have their own bonding activities going on behind their own closed doors.)

We worked hard in class.  Again, I was inspired by the super in shape Claire (not her real name).  When the trainor gave separate exercises for the guys (they did push-ups, girls did advanced plank), she just went right along and did what the guys were doing.  So I did too.  I didn’t last too long on the push-ups.  But when the girls were doing tricep kickbacks, and the guys were doing curls and military presses, I joined the guys.  For the first time in my life, I used a bar instead of dumbbells on those.  Maybe I’m more butch than I give myself credit for.

After class, though, I was so hungry that I not only ate my snack, but also half of dinner.  It’s okay, I’m going to a concert tonight and guaranteed to burn it off while dancing.

In the Thick of It

The end of the first phase of the tour is coming to an end.  Next Monday, I’ll be 1/3 of the way through.  These first 30 days have really been preparatory work.  The trainer has been teaching us how to work out.  Form has been emphasized (almost overly so) as well as getting everyone up to the same base level of fitness.  We’ve adjusted to the diet (or at least we’ve made our peace with the cheats we have – I love my sugarfree mentos!)  We’ve all seen some results, and we know what we need to do and where we need to be for more results.  For better or for worse, we’re in this for the long haul.

I feel like we’re at the place right before the flash sequence in a Rocky movie.

Except, I’m not quite sure I’m there with the crowd.  In the locker room, I talk the talk with the best of them, but I’ve already gotten everything I’ve wanted to out of the program.  If I drop another jean size, I won’t have any pants that fit me.  Today, I just wanted ice cream, but I think I’m the only one left having cravings.

Tomorrow morning, I’m going to the gym Maria-style.  I’m going to wear my favorite pink shorts, a great sports bra and screw the t-shirt.  I’ll go for a little run until my knee starts to act up, and then I’ll hit the weights like I used to love.  I can’t get their bent over rows to work, so I’ll do the ones I know: with dumbbells and with cables.  No more slow sets for 60 seconds with 60 second breaks.  It’s going to be 8-10 reps to failure.  Bench press, flys, lat pull downs.  Kettle bells and medicine balls.  Pull ups and push ups.  Old school.

If I can’t find my motivation and my goals doing that, well, at least I’ll have burned enough calories for ice cream.

Shut Up And Train

Class today was so awesome.  I had so much energy and was nearly bouncing off the walls.  Today was “shut up and train” day.  We worked HARD, and it felt GREAT.  We were doing squats with weighted bars held over our heads, and my bar wasn’t heavy enough to max out, so I did clean and presses between each squat.   We’re working out for a full 45 minutes now too.

I could’ve stayed and taken the second class.  Easily.

But I’m back in my office to tackle my spreadsheets.  I just finished off a muffin for snack (instead of the silly turkey and arugula they gave us).  Going back to the diet tomorrow is going to be tough.  But I think I’ll be reenergized, and besides, tomorrow starts with french toast with sugar free syrup and turkey bacon, so it can’t be that bad.

Tonight during the debates, I’m going to put this extra energy to good use and destroy my abs.  Each candidate gets two minutes to respond to each question, so I’m planning on holding a plank for the first answer, and then a cobra/superman for the second.

In other news, in the locker room today, K was showing off how she could shimmy off her jeans without unbuttoning them.  Ever the joiner, I gave it a try, and lo and behold, mine came right off as well.  This is a far cry from a muffin top, my friends.

Fat Man

This makes me feel very shallow, but it’s true nonetheless.

This morning on the subway, I saw a fat man open a large package of grape fruit snacks.  I wanted those fruit snacks so badly for about 20 seconds.  Then I saw that his stomach was already testing the strength of the buttons on his shirt, and white hairy belly fat was trying to escape.  Unsurprisingly, I suddenly wanted a tight flat stomach much more than I wanted any kind of food.

What Kind of Boot Camp Is This?

I found out today that we’re not just eating only food out of the bag for first 14 days, we’re doing it for the whole 90 days.  However am I supposed to meet anyone for anything?  Or attend a business lunch?  Or go on a date, for that matter? 

I don’t really have that much room to complain, though.  I do love regulations and routine.  One of my favorite parts of college was the dining hall, and simply eating whatever they were serving.  It makes life so much simpler.  I was eating with friends though, that’s the difference. 

I’m learning that this program can be isolating.  They even told us today that if we keep with it, we’ll find ourselves changing our social patterns: going out less, coming home earlier, and hanging out with different people.  But I like the friends I already have.  A lot.  I’m beginning to worry–what kind of boot camp is this?

The motivation to keep up with this diet is going to be tough.

The motivation to keep up with the work-outs?  Easy peasy lemon squeezy.  We did 2 x 30sec sets of high knee drills today (think football player drills, only bringing your knees way up).  At first, it killed my knee and I’m in pain from it now.  But after the adrenaline and testosterone and all those good hormones started kicking in, I didn’t notice.  The guy next to me and I took turns moving over next to each other and yelling at each other to get ourselves through it.  Sweaty high-fives and fist bumps followed. 

Maybe he and I will be friends.