Goals

I need to come up with goals.  It’s something I’ve been saying to myself for a while, and it recently became a requirement.  I need to have 2 goals for the end of month 1 (Oct 6) and 2 goals for the end of month 2 (Nov 3).

To be honest, I’ve already seen the results I was looking for.  Mostly, I wasn’t looking for anything.  My jeans fit great, I’m back in shape (as much as my knee with allow), and man!, you should see me flex!

What more do I want?  I suppose I could try to lose some more weight.  But then I’d have to buy new clothes, and umm… do they make bras smaller than an A cup?  On the other hand, it would be fun to have a really flat, ripped stomach.  (I think an occasional ice cream would be way funner.)  I don’t want to accomplish anything I’m not willing to maintain, and the only way I know how to do either of those is to lace up my shoes and run for miles.

Today I’ll do a time trial and see how many real, boy push-ups I can do in a minute.  Then up it a bit.  I’ve always wanted to be able to do push-ups like a boy, but I always hated actually training for them.

That still leaves 3 goals.  Maybe some kind of pull-up thing?  Or stretch until I can hit my splits again?  How about “give my knee a flipping rest so some night I can go to sleep without pain?”

If It Ain’t Fun

If it ain’t fun, it ain’t worth doing.

We unofficially declared yesterday to be 80s workout day.  There were side pony tails, headbands, legwarmers, tights, and scrunched socks. 

It was so much fun, we decided that all Mondays will be theme days.  Next week is hip hop.

 

Also, my mom is in town this week, so I expect there will be some cheating going on.  I already had some of her coffee this morning.  Caffeine AND cream!

Hyperglycemic Response

This morning has been unaccountably difficult.  I woke up feeling fabulous (per usual), but everything seemed to go downhill from there.

As I was cleaning up getting ready for my mother’s visit tonight, I started to get irrationally irritated at my (still sleeping) roommate for things that were clearly not a big deal and had never bothered me before.  I suppose it might be fair to say that sometimes these things just happen, but honestly, they rarely happen to me, and almost never before noon.  It’s very hard to ruffle my feathers in the early morning.  Generally, I’m just pleased as punch to be alive and it’s all I can do to restrain myself from singing.

I was grumpy on the subway, again, quite unlike myself and quite without cause.  Normally, I really enjoy riding the subway, either reading my book or just watching people.  My book hasn’t been interesting of late, and I spent most of the ride with my eyes closed, just waiting to arrive.

I even had my favorite oatmeal for breakfast, with extra cinnamon.

I tried cheering myself up with my sugar-free candies, but I think after three weeks, my body has finally figured out that sweetness no longer equals sugar.  I can’t trick it into a hyperglycemic response anymore.

So I poured half a glass of soymilk, heated it in the microwave, and added a teaspoon of hot chocolate mix.   I’m slowly chowing down on a handful or raisins.  I feel remarkably better.

 

Edit: I’ve also been in a kind of dull achy pain from my knee for over 2 weeks now, despite steadily working my way through a bottle of ibuprofen.  That kind of pain wears me down after a while, especially since it also involves not getting morning endorphins from an extra workout, and the added stress of always looking for elevators or escalators instead of stairs.

Boredom

I’m so tired of eating food that comes packaged in little boxes iced down in a little cooler.  It’s not even that I want anything that different from what they’re serving us.  The food is delicious, and it’s filling, and they vary it quite a bit.  (In three weeks, I don’t think I’ve had the same meal twice.)

I just wish that on rainy Sunday mornings like today, I could pick my breakfast.  The scrambled whole eggs with scallions and homemade salsa was wonderful, but I wish I could have chosen to have cold cereal and soy milk.  It’s not that I really want cereal, I just want the option. 

I never really thought choice was that important to me.  Growing up, my mother packed me the exact same lunch for 12 years running, only varying the number of sandwiches as I grew up and seasonally changing the color of the sprinkles on the dessert.  Before this program, I ate the exact same breakfast every morning for years, too.  The lunch places near my office knew precisely what I would order as soon as I walked in.

Maybe I’m bored with the variety.  I crave predictability.

Small World

The other day, when my knee was hurting so badly and I was so angry that I couldn’t train like everyone else, I was overheard grumbling to myself on my way to the locker room.  G asked me what was going on, so I told him about my frustration.  Whereupon, he offered to MRI my knee for me.  Apparently, he owns one and just down the street from my house.

So this morning, I stopped by his office.  30 minutes and some loud bizarre noises later, he was showing me images of my knee from the inside, outside, and every which way.  It’s official: I have really bad knees, especially for someone my age.  My tendons and ligaments are fine–I’m structurally intact, I just have bone spurs.

But hey, a free MRI!  That’s a great perk.  I only wish I could make him cookies in thanks.  Perhaps a basket of herbal teas, instead?

Shut Up And Train

Class today was so awesome.  I had so much energy and was nearly bouncing off the walls.  Today was “shut up and train” day.  We worked HARD, and it felt GREAT.  We were doing squats with weighted bars held over our heads, and my bar wasn’t heavy enough to max out, so I did clean and presses between each squat.   We’re working out for a full 45 minutes now too.

I could’ve stayed and taken the second class.  Easily.

But I’m back in my office to tackle my spreadsheets.  I just finished off a muffin for snack (instead of the silly turkey and arugula they gave us).  Going back to the diet tomorrow is going to be tough.  But I think I’ll be reenergized, and besides, tomorrow starts with french toast with sugar free syrup and turkey bacon, so it can’t be that bad.

Tonight during the debates, I’m going to put this extra energy to good use and destroy my abs.  Each candidate gets two minutes to respond to each question, so I’m planning on holding a plank for the first answer, and then a cobra/superman for the second.

In other news, in the locker room today, K was showing off how she could shimmy off her jeans without unbuttoning them.  Ever the joiner, I gave it a try, and lo and behold, mine came right off as well.  This is a far cry from a muffin top, my friends.

Back In the Saddle

I don’t think I truly realized how terrible I was feeling, until I spent all day feeling better and better.  (Which is saying something, because I had a pretty awesome morning.)

This is what it feels like to be myself again.  I’m on top of the world.  I’m ready to go out and have a wonderful, goofy fun time.  I want to dance and take some names.  I am once again delighted by all the awesome, little things in my life (like menthol chapstick and pink rain shoes).  I can’t wait to go kick some butt at my class today.

To be sure, peanut butter crackers and ice cream for breakfast, oatmeal for snack, fried rice for lunch, and multiple handfuls of raisins likely mean I’ve already consumed more calories today than I have in the past few days.  Who cares?  I’m about to take on the world!

For the first time in many many days, I expect I’ll be doing handstands again, just as soon as I can find enough room.

Since When Do I Not Like Sugar?

So the solution to the problem of feeling like crap is apparently, to be eating more.  And drinking a lot of fluids like juice.  I should be thrilled, right?  This is the kind of thing I’ve been craving. 

Except the cravings are gone.  All of them.  I don’t want anything.

This morning on my way to the office, I went to go buy all my favorites.  I stopped at Dunkin Donuts, but nothing there looked appetizing.  Ditto at Starbucks.  And Mrs. Fields.  I finally went to the drug store and mechanically bought things I liked in the past: white grape juice, oatmeal, raisins, hostess cupcakes, soy milk, peanut butter crackers.  I looked at the gummy candies and the chocolates and was surprisingly turned off.  I ate two peanut butter crackers and felt a little better, but I didn’t want anymore.

So I went to Ben & Jerry’s, thinking it had to be failsafe.  I ordered a cake batter, in a cup.  It may have been the first time in my life I turned down a cone, and it’s been years since I passed up sprinkles.  I threw out over half the ice cream.

Finally, I went to the bakery.  I got my favorite muffin, and a seeded whole wheat roll.  I heated the roll up in my office, and ate it slathered in butter.  It was good.  At last. 

The muffin, even with butter, is too sweet.  So I’m tricking my body into having sugar, by pouring juice into my tea.

I’m feeling better and I can focus on my work.  I’m still going to take today off and just listen to my body and eat whatever it thinks it needs.

Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

Today was awful.  In fact, the past two days have been awful.  I can’t concentrate.  I can’t get things done.  I have no energy.

It makes me a poorer roommate, because I can’t keep my mind on the conversation we’re having, much less help plan a party.  It makes me a poorer coworker, because I keep falling behind.  It makes me a poorer lunch date because I am not my usual cheerful happy self.

I had one of their protein shakes before class in hopes of having enough energy to get through class.  No luck.  Aerobic exercise was the last high I had left.  It was the one highlight of my day that kept me up and going.  My knee is acting up, so I can’t even get in enough of a workout to kick in endorphins, or make my muscles burn enough to release testosterone so I can get mad.  I just got frustrated.  And more frustrated.  And further frustrated.  I cheered on the losingest team in sports history, now I can’t even cheer myself on (and hey, sometimes I even win things).

This feeling is thankfully exceptionally rare in my life.  In the past, when I felt like my heart was going to explode out of my chest, I’d lace up my running shoes and take myself out for a long hard fast run.  Preferably straight up the side of a mountain or right out into the desert.  I’d run as fast as I could for as long as I could, until my lungs burned and my legs burned.  Then I’d keep going.  Eventually, I’d just outrun it.

Not having the option this time (stupid city, stupid knee), I just set my jaw and finished the modified pansy workout that doesn’t put pressure on my knee.  By the end, I did manage to work the frustration into anger.

Afterwards, I marched right up to the nutritionist and told him I’d had an awful two days and was getting nothing done.  He asked if I was hungry?  No, I just can’t concentrate or do anything.  He still thought it was a blood sugar issue, and told me to go have half a glass of juice.  I grumbled.

He was right.  I chased the juice with a bit of chocolate.

Now I’m leaving the office, because I haven’t felt this good in two days and I’ll be darned if I waste it on spreadsheets.

Baked Apple

Here is a delicious dessert that’s actually healthy.

Ingredients:

1 green (Granny Smith) apple

2-3 packets of Splenda

Cinnamon

Not-butter spray

 

Directions:

Preheat oven to 350.  Core apple about 3/4 of the way down.  Peel apple (reserve peels to eat while the apple is baking–they’re a little bitter, but that’s where most of the fiber and vitamins are).  Place the apple on a square of aluminum foil large enough to cover it.  Sprinkle liberally with splenda and cinnamon.   Spray a few times with not-butter.  Wrap up the apple and bake until soft when tested with a paring knife (about 15-20 minutes).

Heaven.

 

If you’re not so much concerned with your calorie count, but still want a healthy dessert, mix instant oatmeal, raisins, toasted sliced almonds, cinnamon and brown sugar and fill the apple with that.  Dot the top with butter and sprinkle with more brown sugar if desired.

To be very fancy, when you peel the apple, do so in a swirl, so half of the peel is left on the apple swirling around it.